Dancing Tango and the Infatuation

What are these contradictory feelings? They are so annoying as to unsettle my mind and cause me to throw caution to the wind.

Is there some underlining chemistry at work? Usually I know exactly what I’m feeling and what I want. How odd. I’m just feeling irritated with myself and with this man. I like to feel I’m a man’s equal. But I’m not with this one. Could that be my main conflict? What does it matter really, it’s just my pride getting in the way of living life, and I know it. I never did like feeling out of control.

Amazing that I can be in so much physical pain and yet am considering going out dancing again tonight. Last night I lay in bed every part of my body screaming exhaustion. My back, my poor aching back. I prayed for sleep but hurt to bad. I finally got 3 hours.

This man, I danced with, complained of getting old.

Old! He doesn’t know the meaning of the word!


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I just got back from Loring Pasta Bar. Though I could only stay for an hour due to my pain, I had a delightful time dancing. I think I’ll go again Friday. I'm addicted to this dance.

I danced tonight with a guy who I know from Rebel’s dance classes. Poor dear man! I just am not willing to dance the way he would like me to. He likes to feel a woman heavy on his shoulder. “Relax into me”, he tells me. It’s just that I have been told not even in close embrace should I have all my weight on my partner and I believe this. I try for 50/50 but it’s not good enough. He suffers through two songs with me.

I met another awesome dancer tonight. Bill who is nice and tall. I learned a valuable thing from him. Weight changes without taking a step to be ready for restarting a dance pattern. Cool, I loved it!!!!!! Yes, I know, silly me but these little things so please me. The more subtle a thing, the more fascinated I become. I think at times, with different dancers, I have been doing this but was unaware.