My desire washed away with the rain.

This man, who can be so interesting and intelligent, can also be clueless. Twice now I have tried to sit with this guy late in the evening at Rush, on the edge of asking him if he wants go back to my place for an hour or two only by then he’s drunk just a little too much, if you know what I mean. Wow, hello?

Sloppy drunk guys…ho hum. He calls a gal over to tell her something and we spend time exchanging glances past this goofy drinking man.

I try to get up. He stops me and wants me to sit back down. I say, “Show me a little attention or why should I bother to stay.” He tries to put me straight, “This is how it is...”, he tells me but he hasn’t heard a word I said. I am bored really BORED. Dance one dance with me for goodness sake, do something, talk to me, because this is getting old really fast. Kiss me. Touch me. Something. He is numb. He is drunk just enough to be clueless. Finally the other gal is able to slip away and I make my exit shortly after.

I’m listening to the rain right now it’s 1:30 a.m. What an idiot that man is! He could have been in my bed right now enjoying my attention. God I love the rain. If it weren’t so late and cold I’d go out there and let the rain fall down on my face. Let it wash away all my restlessness, all my desire, all my passion.

I want to feel alive! Every moment is precious, why piss it away so! Why should I sit around and watch some guy getting sloppy drunk who doesn’t care if I’m even there or not? This guy is on automatic pilot. I’m usually not so wrong about people, am I missing something here? I had a decent conversation with his buddy, who tries to tell me how wonderful this man is. That’s kind of sad now isn’t it. He isn’t trying at all to capture my affections but his friend is off to the side trying to help him out, kind of telling me to hang in there.

This is silly and wasting life on such a broad scale for me. I made myself available to this guy so we could get to know each other. But honestly why pursue someone that doesn’t share the same feelings as I do about him, that is just stupid. He would rather stay at Rush say goodnight to every last person left out there as they leave, while getting plastered, instead of sharing my sweet company.

Poor dear stupid man, you could come linger in my arms, feel my gentle touch turn to passion with your kisses. Sigh, what a waste of a perfectly good evening. Enough of this.