Stress and the Body

Did you know that some of the most happy events in your life are some of the most stressful as well? Actually any change in our lives can be stressful. Here are nine really big stressors that life can throw our way.

Death of a close family member
Marital separation
Personal illness or injury
Marriage
Pregnancy
Divorce
Death of a spouse
Spending time in jail
Retirement

Remember when your were told, “don’t go out in the cold without a coat, you’ll catch your death”. Well truth-be-told any physical stress such as extreme cold, heat or change in altitude can cause undue pressure on your system, causing illness to creep in. Another physical strain could be pushing yourself too hard in work or play. This can deplete the body of energy it needs to have in order to restore and maintain itself.

Also we women are most susceptible to stress caused by hormonal changes in our bodies. These hormone levels fluctuate and cause stress to our systems during puberty, menstrual cycles, pregnancy and menopause.

After reading the list above you’re probably thinking most stresses are negative but there are positive stresses like having a baby, getting a new job or moving to a new place. Any big change can effect us.

Thinking about all of this I looked back at my life I realized that I had been living a pretty stressful one. Being fascinated by this realization, I made a time line with hash marks to count from year to year the major life events I had encountered along the way.

In childhood I had moved to four different states by the time I was fifteen. Minnesota, Wyoming, Colorado and Kentucky. And during my childhood I experienced seven major life events.

Just trying to find my way in life, I moved five times and had five jobs my first year out of college. As I learned each new job, I would become bored and look for something more challenging. This is how I discovered later an automatic means to advance myself in my career. It set a pattern for me. Later I was to become a freelancer and in being my own boss was more satisfied with those changes that I craved.

Counting up my totals, in all, I’ve moved nineteen times, gotten twenty-two jobs and experienced eleven major life-changing events. All of this before I hit forty. Yikes!

By the time CFS had taken a firm hold of me, I knew that I had to find some way to alleviate my levels of stress. As I continued to try to work I would take long breaks at lunchtime to practice meditating. Usually these meditations turned into naps, which was fine cause that’s what my body needed most.

To relax and unwind, I used deep breathing, and simple meditation techniques. Sometimes when I was just too wound up and couldn’t quiet my mind, I would read a book instead. I did anything that I could to tune out my thoughts of work and give my body a break.

Down the road the CFS forced me to cut out stresses in dramatic ways. The number one stressor was cut out first – work. I was too sick to take jobs so I stopped trying to work.

Then realizing I was getting worse even though I’d cut out the biggest stress in my life, I chose to leave my husband.

For the first time in thirteen years I saw that I needed to put me first and take care of myself. I had spent my marriage worrying about my husband’s welfare and happiness. There was something wrong in our marriage and neither of us really knew what. We were kind to each other and thoughtful, but for some reason my husband was in a state of unhappiness. He seemed always depressed and miserable. I felt as though I was walking a tight rope trying my best to smooth over the day to day of our routine to make life more pleasant for him. I tried to be happy for the both of us. It was exhausting.

Nothing seemed to work and I found I had nothing more to give to him. When I left there were other daily things that were an amazing relief for me to get away from. One of them was a dog we had at the time that was just miserable to live with.

After making some really tough decisions I was able to free myself to focus on getting better. I was fortunate to have the loving support of my family and good friends when I needed them. For me each year has just gotten better. I figure now it’s my time to share what I’ve learned with others. So I'll keep writing as things come to mind.

So what is this Chronic Fatigue Syndrome anyway?

Gosh, if this isn't a huge question because even the medical doctors have trouble with answering that! If affects different folks in all sorts of different ways. For me it was the breaking down of my body over time -- one health problem leading to another in this downward spiral that at first was easy to ignore and pass off as temporary pain and fatigue.

I try to simplify things for those unfamiliar with this disease. Officially I’m diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS). That’s the whole complete and correct name for this thing but most folks – if ever – have only heard it referred to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Don’t get confused here. This is not the same as chronic fatigue, many people can become chronically fatigued but can recuperate over time and can continue to function in their day to day routines. You mommies and daddies with new borns are a perfect example! There is a huge distinction here and I’ll try my best to explain it.

CFIDS is a debilitating illness that affects both adults and children. CFIDS, diagnosed by exclusion of all other illnesses known to modern science, affects virtually every major system of my body: neurological, immunological, hormonal, gastrointestinal, and musculoskeletal. No amount of eating or drugs can change that. At present, there is no known cause or cure for the illness.

The body, when stressed or in pain, sends out a surge of adrenaline and endorphins as a coping mechanism. A person with CFIDS is sometimes lacking in both to deal with physical or emotional stresses.

When there is a shock to the nervous system the body drops in energy level as it uses up the little bit of reserve adrenaline that it has. The muscles and reflexes slow—the body will just shut down until more adrenaline is slowly built-up. This shut down period is an uncontrollable response and can be so severe at times as to cause one to loose all control of muscle function.

For me, I can be left in a heap on the floor unable to move. As my body tries to cope with the stress, sometimes even breathing is hard. With that lack of oxygen, I can have trouble even focusing so that my sight is impaired. With slow reflexes, feeling dizzy and limited vision can cause me to be shut down for indefinite periods of time. Here’s what it feels like to me to have this disability…

Every Day Feels Like Moving Day

CFS is like the end of a big moving day, everyday.
Imagine yourself having just bought a house and moving into it. A day where you have carried all those big heavy boxes of books and moved that impossibly heavy metal cabinet that your best friends swear they will never help you with again.

Most of us have moved at least once in our lives. Didn’t that day go something like this?
Tempers were short and yours is shorter as you hobble aching in every bone of your body with the fatigue of carrying stuff back and forth all day long. Now it’s time to get that truck unloaded one last time to return it to the rental place. Your muscles scream, your back can’t take another load, and you’re shaking like a leaf. AND if one more family member comes up to you whining about when the pizza’s going to get here you’re going to blow your top!

So far, you’ve discovered the garage door doesn’t open with the remote, someone dropped a box of your best china, and the dog peed on the beautiful upstairs rug. You sit down and wanna cry. You announce to everyone you are done; you simply can’t do another thing for the day. Your body is heavy with exhaustion, your head aches -- you’re so dizzy you have to sit down before you fall down.

Imagine that night you are so happy to lie down for bed and so fatigued you don’t even care to put sheets on it. You grab some makeshift covers and settle in for the night. You wake up three hours later stumbling around to the bathroom. Boy, do you ache, holy cow! Back to bed you toss and turn; you lie in bed unable to sleep. You can’t shut down your brain, thinking of all the things that need unpacking and a million little details still to be done – all the work ahead of you. How you wish you could sleep but are just too sore.

You wake, barely able to pull yourself out of bed. You tossed and turned all night long. You feel nauseous and your head hurts. Your brain’s in a fog and you can hardly think. Your body feels so heavy; it’s hard to lift your arms up to get the shirt on over your head. This is going to be one tough day. Every movement is done in slow motion.
This is how I feel everyday with CFS. The bone-breaking fatigue causes me to struggle to even get a deep breath.
The smallest tasks have become monumental achievements, and leaving my house has become an event in itself.

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If your looking for more complete information go to the CFIDS Association of America http://www.cfids.org/about-cfids/default.asp

Dancing Tango and the Infatuation

What are these contradictory feelings? They are so annoying as to unsettle my mind and cause me to throw caution to the wind.

Is there some underlining chemistry at work? Usually I know exactly what I’m feeling and what I want. How odd. I’m just feeling irritated with myself and with this man. I like to feel I’m a man’s equal. But I’m not with this one. Could that be my main conflict? What does it matter really, it’s just my pride getting in the way of living life, and I know it. I never did like feeling out of control.

Amazing that I can be in so much physical pain and yet am considering going out dancing again tonight. Last night I lay in bed every part of my body screaming exhaustion. My back, my poor aching back. I prayed for sleep but hurt to bad. I finally got 3 hours.

This man, I danced with, complained of getting old.

Old! He doesn’t know the meaning of the word!


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I just got back from Loring Pasta Bar. Though I could only stay for an hour due to my pain, I had a delightful time dancing. I think I’ll go again Friday. I'm addicted to this dance.

I danced tonight with a guy who I know from Rebel’s dance classes. Poor dear man! I just am not willing to dance the way he would like me to. He likes to feel a woman heavy on his shoulder. “Relax into me”, he tells me. It’s just that I have been told not even in close embrace should I have all my weight on my partner and I believe this. I try for 50/50 but it’s not good enough. He suffers through two songs with me.

I met another awesome dancer tonight. Bill who is nice and tall. I learned a valuable thing from him. Weight changes without taking a step to be ready for restarting a dance pattern. Cool, I loved it!!!!!! Yes, I know, silly me but these little things so please me. The more subtle a thing, the more fascinated I become. I think at times, with different dancers, I have been doing this but was unaware.

Exercise, it is such a touchy matter.

How did a bed ridden CFIDSer go from being trapped in her room, to dancing out on the Tango floor?

In all the world everyone benefits from a little exercise except the person plagued with CFIDS. For the first time in my life, as I sat in the doctor’s office discussing options on how to deal with this disability, I was told NOT to exercise.

At the time I thought that was pretty funny since I could barely manage to be on my feet for even a few minutes at a time. I didn’t have the energy to spare to even think about exercise, I had to use everything I had on just breathing and talking.

Unfortunately I continued to go down hill with my CFIDS. My body as it weakened developed more and more health problems. I lost all muscle tone and muscle mass as I was stuck in bed.

During this time I knew one thing, if I didn’t find a way to exercise my body I was going to end up in a wheelchair the rest of my life. Already in trying to prepare my meals, I had to sit on a stool in front of the stove just to cook up a hamburger. I moved from chair to chair throughout my house to get to where I was going. Every few feet there was a place for me to sit. It is most lucky I have such a tiny house!

Out of many books I’d read about how to deal with chronic fatigue and CFIDS, there were recommendations for finding three-minute exercises to keep the muscles active in non-stressful ways. So I tried some yoga moves but couldn’t really even do a lung stretch without bottoming out.

Still I was convinced there was something I could do to prevent my body’s deterioration.

I had heard about people recovering from surgeries that were given rocking chairs in their rooms for exercise, so I got a rocking chair. There were days when I had trouble even sitting up but I stuck with it and kept rocking away each day.

There had been some research into my getting an exercise ball as well but my sister had a rocking chair, and so that was the more affordable option. I still think it would be a fun alternative to bounce on one of those balls.

As other parts of my problem were slowly being managed or solved I progressed it took me a year to get to where I could graduate from the rocking chair to other forms of activity like little short walks.

I was still insistent during these times to train my little dog Shorty to herd livestock and so would expend all the energy to be out in a field with him for herding lessons. Although these times, once a month, caused me to spend days after stuck back in bed I knew they were well worth it.

It was that drive and determination that kept me moving forward. The desire to be able to train my dog was the incentive I needed to keep from accepting my limitations. My will to do these things although faint was still enough to motivate me to keep trying to get better.

Each year I spent more and more time out of bed, giving myself challenges to strengthen my body somehow.

First it was the rocking chair, then it was getting rid of my cooking stool and standing up for longer periods of time. Soon I was trying to walk more. The best thing I ever did for myself was move my bedroom to the one upstairs so each day I had to climb the stairs to get to my bed.

Sure, maybe that doesn’t sound like a big deal to you, but there were times when I was literally climbing those stairs on my hands and knees. Every once in a while I still do!

Using diet, acupuncture, chiropractic care, and other holistic treatments I grew stronger and took on more physical challenges to keep my body in working order. I refused to get a disability-parking license plate, and walked the parking lots like everyone else.

I returned to doing my own shopping. If I didn't get everything I needed the time I became exhausted, I would go home and return for it another day. It was wonderful to be regaining my independence again. It didn't matter how hard it was to do these things. I was doing them for myself.

Each year got better and better, I tried to go back to doing yoga but didn’t have much incentive for some reason. Lucky me, soon found another means of exercise in an organization called “We Can Ride”. Here I was able to ride a horse for physical therapy designed specifically for my special needs. More then anything I was discovering how much I needed to interact with others and this was perfect. The horses shared their strength and warmth with me, and the helpers shared their laughter and good humor.

Then one day the heavens opened up and the light shown down on me. I realized songs on the radio are three minutes long! I had found the perfect exercise. I’d get up and dance to a song and then sit back down and rest until I was ready for another. If there's one thing I love it's dancing!

By the winter of 2003 I was daring enough to take my first dance class. I started with a slow easy dance called nightclub two-step. It was hard and exhausting but so worth it!!! I had to wear a back brace, and ice my back down afterwards. It hurt so bad I could barely drive myself home and many times came home crying with the pain. After those lessons I would be up all night in excruciating agony, but nothing could keep me away from those classes.

Reveling in being so social, I hadn’t laughed like that in forever and being in the company of others was simply exhilarating! What was perfect I discovered about dancing was that I could go to a dance and after being on the floor for a song, rest as long as I needed before going out there again and could still appear normal. I was in heaven!

At first it took me days to recuperate but over time that too became easier. I’m now heading into my fourth year since I began my exercise towards wellness plan and am a regular out on the country dance floor. Yes, I still experience terrible pain and many of those nights when I return home are spent sleepless because of it. But I am stronger then I've ever been.

Happily after changing doctors again for the gazillionth time it was discovered I had a magnesium deficiency, and would also benefit from thyroid medication. As my energy continues to improve through medical and holistic treatments I am now tackling the challenge of Tango dancing and loving it.

I must have a need for drama and Tango suits me just fine. Who knows what I’ll try next! So how did a bed ridden CFIDSer go from being trapped in her room, to dancing out on the Tango floor? Very slowly over time with determination and some creativity.