Jean & Bill tango dancing at the Heartland Festival


The Best Dance Under the Circumstances.

Driving along in my car yesterday, I was remembering dances I’d had that were a bit comical or just plain awkward. One such time was the night I went out Salsa dancing with a couple of people. It was an odd circumstance, one in which you find yourself dancing with someone and the dance just seems to drag on forever as you find yourself thinking of other things, bored to tears.

I was dancing with a delightful guy and since he didn’t really know how to Salsa we were doing the same little step over and over again to the music. Dancing it with gusto and all the bravado we could muster in our three little steps this way and that.

As the band played on, and on, AND ON, I began to wish for some escape. I kept thinking, oh lord this is awful -- how do we stop? I looked at him and he was smiling broadly, it really looked like he was having great fun. Well that was all it took. I smiled right back and thought what charming company, and I danced for him. I gave him every little bit of me in that dance.

I enjoyed that dance for what it was, not what it could be or should be, or what others were doing with it. As exhausted and wore out as I was, I danced that dance for us. We both danced in the moment and I adored my partner, no longer becoming dissatisfied with his dancing skills or mine.

Man, I so love the dance for all it gives to me. Even in those moments of embarrassment or pain, my back screaming at me, or my clocking someone in the chin, the dance has gone on. As inconsistent as I am out there on the dance floor and as many times as I have missed steps or simply been out of step, I now realize how many countless men have danced with me and felt as I did that night Salsa dancing. And rising above their boredom and possible irritation, smiled at me and gave me the best dance they could under the circumstances.

What wonderful men you are to dance with me, repeatedly, night after night, week after week!

My Sister and Richard Petty.

So my sister the artist had to go to Yakima to pick-up one of her paintings. She really is a master at making her schedule work and juggling her three small kids. I am always impressed. And this last week was no exception.

After having a flat, she found out she needed new tires put on their car. So before her trip to Yakima could be accomplished, that little errand would need doing.

Now the plan was, since her kids were sick, to have Grandma watch them so my sister could get in and get the tires and still make the trip on time to Yakima. Unfortunately Grandma became dreadfully ill herself and plans would be changing.

Here my sister is already in a tight situation made even more impossible by the fact that she would now need to bring her kids a long. But what do you do when you have three sick kids and you don’t want to make them wait in the repair shop waiting room? Well if you’re my sister you tell the repair guys it will be better for everyone involved it they all stay in the car as the tires are replaced.

I’m sure the repair shop guys seeing the situation (and it helps that this is a small town) agreed with her completely. Know one wants a screaming kid in a waiting room let alone three.

Yes, my sister and her kids stayed in the car as it was hoisted up on the lift and like Richard Petty’s pit crew, all the repairman there in the shop each took a tire and replaced it and my sister was off and running again.

After hearing that story I am almost tempted to move to my sister’s small town. The service there is fantastic don’t you think?

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie.

I’ve spent the morning just me, and the dogs in bed. I bottomed out around 7:30 this morning after only an hour of being up and about.

It’s so nice to have the dogs company, I love their warmth when I’m exhausted and stuck in bed. If it looks like I’m thinking about even considering getting up Shorty will put his head on my stomach and look at me with those yellow eyes as if to say, **Gee isn’t it all nice and cozy. You don’t really want to get up do you?** And sometimes with emphasis he’ll give out a big loud sigh.

Junior takes an altogether different approach. He stretches out, flips over on his back with his legs in the air, and throws his head back to hit me in the face – all the while with a toothy grin on his face. He knows this makes me laugh. I think he hopes if he can keep me laughing I will stay in bed longer.

Oh yeah and as you can see sometimes their ploys work. I stayed in bed till 11:30 this morning.

Last night I went out Country dancing and had a blast. The company was wonderful and the dancing had me delighted! The men had me just laughing and loving it last night. Just as I was raising my hands to the heavens dramatically lamenting how I loved to Hustle and this one song would surely pass me by, a guy came running over to get the dance with me.

There are only a few guys that know how to Hustle out there so lucky me when I get to dance it with someone! And to top it off I found another guy who loved dancing Night Club two-step and he dubbed me his new Night Club Two partner. That put a grin on my face

Those poor men though, I am on a mission to recruit more people to Tango. AND I think I’ve talked two more men into coming and learning it with me. Both men I talked to last night are awesome dancers. One already looked into dancing Tango awhile back and is ready to try again. He told me he didn’t like the music it seemed old fashioned and out dated. I’m thinking -- Gotan Project is out dated??? Surely he hasn’t been out there in a while. Then I tell him, we dance tango to all kinds of music, Jazz, Blues and even at Salsa clubs!

I have yet to find someone that is good enough musically (and technically) to dance with me to Thievery Corporation or Tom Waits THEN I will truly be in heaven!!!!

Grouchy Me.

Yesterday I was struggling and in an irritable mood trying to stay pleasant and dance at practica with the guys. My Tango partner was telling me how weak he felt when he had a cold and how he couldn’t even muster enough energy to walk his dog. I told him I feel like that every day. Inside I was a bit angry (I was really grouchy!) but reminded myself that not everyone gets just what it’s like to have CFS.

He was shocked. I had to laugh because I can put on a good show. I have gotten good at mustering up myself for a couple of hours dancing. Driving home shaking like a leaf and setting cruise control because even steering is a challenge. My head’s a bubble at these times and it takes everything to concentrate on my driving and get my butt home.

You might say why don’t I just stay home when I feel like this? Well I always feel like this so why let life pass me by because it’s a little more difficult for me then others? Believe me this is nothing compared to the good old days!

Today I remind myself how far I’ve come. My dance partner at one point last night asked me – when I feel really sick – who cooks for me? At the time I just stared at him dumbly and said I cook for myself.

That’s when I began to remember how it used to be for me and my attitude lightened up.

It was only four years ago that I used a cooking stool in my kitchen. I couldn’t stand for more then a minute or two at a time so browning up meat for spaghetti or frying a hamburger was too hard to do so I had the cooking stool I sat on in front of the stove. I even remember crawling across the kitchen floor when my legs were giving out so I could feed my Shorty dog. During those days I did have my family to bring me food when I was too ill to get out of bed so in that way I was very lucky.

I still have the red chair by the entryway to the kitchen that I sit in to rest while I’m cooking in the kitchen but that is nothing. I now move normally throughout my whole house cleaning in little spurts, and I can cook myself anything I want.

Last night I realized it was envy I was feeling that my dance partner could be sick for a week and go back to normal while I’m still stuck here somewhere in the twilight zone. But no worries, I won’t stay feeling sorry for myself to long. I will be fine in a day or two, I always am.

Leaves rustling and music in the air.

This evening is so amazing. As I sit here reading my book, I keep drifting off to listen to the rustle of the wind through the trees. The weather is perfect, my window is open, and the Kelpies are here asleep at my feet.

The sounds of the neighborhood come gently through the curtains and the wind fades a bit. I hear laughter from a party going on at the house behind ours. The music drifts through the air. This day has been so nice and calm. The tension my newest roommate brought with her to this place is forgotten, as this lovely breeze floats by.

I’m euphoric that I’m eating again. I have been extremely ill due to stress and even swallowing water hurt my stomach terribly. There was this pain in my side that hurt so bad I was waking up in the middle of the night! But my stomach has settled down and I know my liver will soon follow.

There has been no dancing for me at all this week. It’s been back to my routine of reading on the futon, then napping on the futon, then going and sleeping in my bed just one step away from the futon. I was a prisoner to my body again but at least I’m at peace and enjoying this evening’s weather.

With every intention of making it to Ray and Wendy’s party tomorrow I did get up put a bean dish in the slow cooker and stick an airbed in the back of my truck for an overnight stay at their place tomorrow. I have all day to rest now before the drive up there Saturday night.

Good lord, I hope I’m not the only single female attending this party like at David’s place. It was too funny. Over Labor Day weekend he and Carol threw a party Friday night, Saturday and Sunday of trail riding and hanging out by the campfire. It was fun but I was the only single person there. It was a group of families, married couples and dating couples. Boy did I feel a bit out of place.

AND to my embarrassment I was the only person who didn’t have anything to do on a Friday night (Even the Tango dance was cancelled!) and I showed up on my own that Friday realizing no one else was coming out there until Saturday morning.

Not that I’m looking but this makes me wonder if I’m even going to find another person I care to date again for a while. I have been yet again turning men down left and right it seems. Is there no one to strike my fancy?

Listening to Jack talk about his weekend and his whirlwind romance. Sigh. And looking at how cute they are together in their pictures, I do wish for something similar.

But still the night air is refreshing, and I’m feeling quite peaceful. All in good time. Another Friday night passes me by.