Where has all the love gone?

Reading in my horoscope that today my powers for attraction and love would be strong, I dressed for the occasion. A little velvet dress showing lots of leg – and I have LOTS of leg – with all the flare a Libra can muster, I hit my Wednesday night haunts.

All of my old admires came out of the woodwork it seemed. I had my usual good time and it seemed some longing looks were passed my way but it was simply the same old thing -- same guys, and the same old uninterested Jean.

My Tango partner told me about a book he read once where it suggested people find their opposites for a perfect match. To obtain this dating goal, you needed to go places you’d never usually choose to go. If you’re a morning person, go out late night clubbing. If you’re a night owl take a morning walk in the park with your dog, you know that sort of thing.

Well I suppose I can broaden myself by going to some different places. I’ll let you know if anything interesting happens. I’m not a big clubber so what happens if I go out and find someone I like, then go back to being myself and still try to have a relationship with a guy who loves staying out till all hours and hanging out at the clubs when all I want is my nice warm bed.

Opposites also want to strangle each other too a lot of the time, but I don’t think the author of that book mentions this other likely problem at all. As I question my love life or lack of one, I delved into astrological suggestions for my best match choices. If a guy’s Moon, Venus, or Mars sign is Leo, Libra or Aquarius I might have a good chance at a proper match.

I think a better way to go about finding this ideal match would be going on what I find attractive…a complicated, dark, powerful, and passionate man is the biggest turn-on for me. A man with "layers"--one who has depth and is complicated enough to intrigue me. Give me a guy who oozes sensuality, who is perhaps a little dark and mysterious, and who has a magnetic and powerful aura. Intensity is a turn-on for me--flighty, superficial, and indifferent types need not apply! Also I do enjoy a certain level of possessiveness.

I’m thinking when was the last time I met a guy like that? Well um, never. If I find one I don’t even know if I’ll know how to handle them but hey it sure would be fun to try.

Long Suffering Junior.

Our smoke detector in the hall went off this morning. The battery was low. It lets off this high pitch beep intermittently to let you know you need to change the battery.

The only thing was that because it beeps at spaced out intervals I wasn’t fully aware of it this morning while I was sleeping. It would beep and I’d sort of half way wake up but then fall back to sleep again. Finally in exasperation Junior came to my bedside, raised up himself with his paws on the edge of the bed, and commenced to patiently wait staring me down right in my face to wake me up.

All I remember is waking to a dog nose almost touching mine. My dogs are very respectful and so I know if either of them is waking me up that something is wrong. I jumped out of bed to let Junior outside, thinking that was the problem until I heard the beeping.

Later in the kitchen Sri was getting ready for work and I told her how Junior couldn’t take the beeping anymore and decide to take matters into his own hands to get me up. Sri says long suffering Junior could be my Snooze-A-Tron. She was referring to the Wallace and Grommet movies. Wallace is an inventor with his dog Grommet who ends up enduring the crazy contraptions.

In her best Wallace voice she says, “Ready Junior!” And we both envision Junior -- in a sheep costume -- bouncing through the air, up and down, as I try to count sheep to fall back asleep.

Who Needs the Directions?!


Sri is still laughing. I was proudly telling her how Jack and I cooked our meal. That while I was boiling the shrimp…she says, “What?!” “You don’t boil shrimp!” and grabs the cookbook to look at the recipe.

She reads it to me, “Devein prawns and boil the heads and shells for 15 minutes, strain and save half a cup of the broth”.

And for emphasis again she repeats, “Boil the heads and sheeelllls”. We laughed so hard. Then I look at her and said maybe that’s why Jack was so confused when we still had to cook them again later in the recipe!!

I am notorious for not reading directions. In my sewing classes before I picked up the directions I’d start trying to figure out which pieces got sewn to which and start sewing them. My sewing teacher looking at my handy work had made the comment, “I don’t see how you could get this from this”. Pointing from the sewing project to the instructions. At which point I told her, “Oh I didn’t read the directions, it looked that these pieces should go together”.

Up to that point I thought sewing was a blast. You cut out the pieces and then like a big puzzle you get to figure out how to put it together. Too funny! After that sewing just lost its fun factor.

I tell Sri about this tumultuous past of mine with directions and we laugh some more.

Could you imagine if I had gone into medicine…me as a surgeon? **Hum, this looks like this should be connected to this…**

The Man in the Moon.

Last night we celebrated the Mid Autumn Festival. (Or Moon Cake Festival) My roommate and my tango partner are both Chinese so we decided to mark the occasion.

Your supposed to eat moon cake, drink strong tea, and make a wish while looking up at the moon. If the Man in the Moon favors you, he will grant your wish. My kind of holiday -- eat lots of food and gaze at the moon.

Sri, unfortunately, was feeling under the weather so she decided not to join us but was kind enough to pick up some rice and bean sprouts on her way back from the chiropractor’s office.

So it just ended up being Jack and myself. I made some red lanterns and hung them across our dining table to make it more festive and Jack brought the food. The meal was simple to prepare but we laughed at ourselves because what should have taken us thirty minutes took us double the time.

We had spring rolls and prawns with snow peas. It was a great meal. My buddy is great company and loves to talk. He had wonderful festival stories of his childhood –- running around with his Chinese lantern all over the place, and being upset when he had so much fun with it, it was demolished.

But his most favorite memory was of his first kiss at a Moon Cake Festival -- he and she together under the moonlight kissing as they lay on their backs in the grass. Showered by the moon’s brilliance they fell asleep side by side, the sky above their heads.

It was to late to go dancing when we’d finally finished our meal so we went out on the deck and made our wishes to the moon. The night was a bright and clear one, what a sight that moon made! Jack said, “Okay, Jean make your wish”, and we were both silent.

I made mine and Jack throws out his arms and hollers up, “Bring me money – lots of money!” We were laughing so hard at that. Telling each other, “Wouldn’t it be great to have all that money?”

Jack would travel the world with his and I would go to every Tango festival far and wide.

Actually my moonlight wish was a weak one because I realized I was content and really had nothing big to wish for. It was the usual kind of wish you’d make under a full moon, one for romantic love to yet again rock my world. I’m certain my wish was heard loud and clear because I swear I saw the Man looking down at me with a smile on his face.

Pain Knows Pain.

I ran into a dear and most enjoyable dance partner I hadn’t seen since last spring. Ever since a life threatening surgery he had never been the same and seldom comes out dancing. I kissed him on the neck and gave him a giant hug, trying with all my might to give him my love and life force energy.

If it worked, if he felt uplifted or benefited from it, I don’t know. What I do know is how incredibly awful it is to loose your vitality and strength, to look in the mirror and see yourself shrinking away. Trying with all your might not to let the despair show in your eyes when you step out among all those healthy vital people who will never understand what you have lost.

I cried when I wrote this just remembering and feeling so deeply for this man! There was a time when he was non-stoppable out on that dance floor, and seeing I couldn’t handle another dance would help me to the nearest chair, making sure I was okay. Now he leans on me as I hug him instead of the other way around. Life can be so cruel!

In that moment his pain was my pain.

A lovely tall tango dancer once told me, “Pain knows pain”. She and I had seen each other out on the dance floor but never really talked, the day we finally did, she asked me about my back and how it was doing. I was amazed and asked her why she asked about my back. And that‘s when she said that pain knows pain. She could tell I was in a world of hurt. I really thought I was hiding it well.

But you know she’s right, I see it in people too all around me. Whether I’m more sensitive now to it or what, it’s true I can see who’s doing well and who isn’t. Sometimes they’re not even aware of it themselves I don't think.

For any of you, my dear friends, hurting or struggling today, my love goes out to you! Find peace from where ever you can and joy in something simple. It will help lighten your load and soothe your frustration.

My sister's present to me...Does she know me or what! It makes the perfect shoe bag don't you think?

My Birthday BBQ.

Every Wednesday night I go religiously out country dancing, and when I’m not out on the floor dancing, I’m usually sitting next to Ray. It’s a funny thing but I’m always very happy sitting there -- just hanging out. Although I’m social and will pick-up a conversation if you come and chat with me, I’m just as happy watching folks dance as I sit right along side Ray.

Wendy, Ray’s wife, comes on and off the dance floor to chat with us. And my friend Ron makes his rounds checking in periodically. These folks are the touchstones of my Wednesdays out. I enjoy the easy conversation with them and we always find a reason to laugh and smile.

They came out to my house yesterday for a BBQ and brought their two kids. Ron was there and did the grilling. He also brought me two lovely chrysanthemums. I was delighted!

All the special people in my life showed up for this little get together. Jerrie and her sister Deb were here — fun loving gals, full of good nature and ready laughter — my brother and his wife (oh, and Nick their dog too).

Andrea my sister-in-law told folks the story of how she and Joe met. It’s such a good one and I could hear it a million times…that the house I have now used to belong to my brother. And how after he met his neighbor (Andrea), they fell in love. Now they live two houses down in what was Andrea’s house and is now Joe and Andrea’s happily ever after!

Pat and Cheryl were here and added a zing of color to the affair with bright colorful shirts that match their out looks on life. Kind-hearted, wonderful people, who when I see them, I go and get big hugs from each. I met them also at Rush.

Another regular out there on Wednesday nights is Mike. When he showed up last night to my place I introduced him to my brother Joe because they have the sport of climbing in common. It’s a big passion for both guys. Now if they see each other out there climbing they will recognize each other.

We ate lots of food and drank the wine my neighbor next door gave us to enjoy, and topped off the night with a fabulous cake my roommate Sri made for the occasion. Sri was surrounded last night by all us country dance people and wasn’t bother a bit by my sporadic dashes to the music to turn it up when I heard a favorite song playing.

Jack brought his little dog Annabelle and that completed my party. Out of the group he was the only Tango dancer there. The group wanted to see us dance but we were stuffed from all that food and cake and happy just to sit and talk. I so delight in Jack’s friendship. He makes himself at home in any setting or group of people. Is it any wonder he is such a likeable guy?

Some of us remembered last years BBQ. There were only five of us for that one, Jerrie, Ron, Pat, Cheryl and I. I was so weak they all pitched in setting things up and putting everything away – even doing my dishes! We compared notes to how I was doing at this time last year and what an improvement. Life is soooo good now -- wow!!!

What they didn’t know was that the year before that one my BBQ consisted of only family members and no friends came out for that. Really there were very few friends back then anyway since I had just starting getting out of the house around that time.

Oh, my! Joy has just spilled out into my life and I’m ever thankful for the good friends I have found along the way!